My husband is tall. Girlbug is long and lithe like her dad, but Boybug is huge in every dimension. Obviously I think both kids are gorgeous, and I love to blow raspberries on Girlbug’s washboard stomach just as much as I do on Boybug’s paunch.
But his cheeks are divine!
He has slimmed down loads now, as people said he would, but he’s still stocky and tall with it. At a year he was 2cm above the 99.8th percentile for height, and on the 98th percentile for weight.
My oversized baby has caused no end of bother, birthing a 10lb-er was the easy bit it seems!
Have you thought about portion control
He was seven months, had been on solids for a matter of weeks, when the health visitor suggested a diet. He had jumped up a percentile-line, and now sat at on the 98th percentile. There was concern (none of it mine) that he was “too big”. I was quizzed about:
- What I fed him (“the same stuff that I feed that bean-pole over there” was my indignant retort “f*ing Mars Bars” was what I murmured under my breath!)
- When I first gave him solids (5 weeks ago)
- How much formula I gave him (um, none actually. Breastfed babies can be fat too you know!)
My inner-scientist seethed at the crude assumptions and the nonsensical approach. “But he’s really tall” I said at least a thousand times. “Well he’s jumped a line” was parroted back to me. I resisted the urge to explain ratios to the woman, clearly only doing her job, following guidelines to the nth degree. Inside I continued to scream “but he’s really tall!!!!”
The soft play dilemma
Boybug has the agility of a…snail? He never crawled, leaving him with inadequate strength in his upper body to haul his ample frame over soft play apparatus. That, coupled with a lack of enthusiasm for slides like I’ve never witnessed before (he’s not scared, he just doesn’t see the point) means soft play is kind of one dimensional for him.
He likes to sit in the ball pool, occasionally wander round holding a foam shape or two. He is usually found in the under-twos area . Which is fine, except for all the mums giving me the death stare for letting my massive child into the baby bit. I’m going to get him a “I’m still not 2” badge for next time.
Boybug walked at 11 months, bored of trying, and failing, to crawl. By 13 months he really needed some shoes. I went in looking for those cute, flexible-soled, first shoes that Girlbug had. They don’t do them in a 6 though, most 13 month olds don’t have size 6 feet! I was allowed to join the “first shoes loyalty club” at the shoe shop though, because, and I quote “I guess it’s not your fault that his feet are massive”. Nope, that would be my husband. My feet are distinctly average, thank you very much!
And plenty of other things
- Restaurants: full 3-course kids menus at 7 months aren’t cheap (that’d be why he put on weight)
- Buggies: Over the weight limit at 18 months. I’m hoping if it does collapse under the strain, Boybug is unlikely to be majorly hurt. He’s quite low to the ground, and I don’t walk particularly fast.
- Cars: We don’t have a small car, but with three members of our four-person family with freakishly long legs, and the ridiculous sports seats, I can’t see how we’re all going to fit for much longer!
- Car seats: Am I really supposed to move Boybug to a booster when he reaches 18kg? That could be next week the way he’s going!
- Clothes: Trousers restrict his squidgy thighs, jumpers don’t go over his rather large noggin (all the brains of my future scientist, you see)
And the look
The look from a stranger when Boybug does something that I consider developmentally appropriate behaviour (be that smearing food over himself, not responding to “what’s your name?”, throwing a toy, or not being able to scale the playground climbing frame). Some times a look of “Hmmm. My child can do that”, or of confusion as to why he’s not joining in or responding. Which is fine at the moment, as Boybug is unaware, but I can’t help but feel that he’s going to get a hard time from adults as he grows. That there’ll be an assumption that he’s much older than he is. I already see it with Girlbug, to an extent.
Oh well, at least it’s unlikely that either of these two summer-borns will be asked for ID!