I’m going on a job hunt

I’m going on a job hunt
I might catch a good one
I’m a bit scared
What a beautiful day

Oh look, porridge, the kids have had wet, gloopy porridge
I can’t avoid it
I can’t change the only-fitting suit
Oh no!
I’ll have to wipe it with a baby wipe
Wipe, sponge, wipe, sponge

I’m going on a job hunt
I might catch a good one
I’m a bit scared
What a beautiful day

Oh look, trains, busy, busy trains
I can’t get myself a seat
I can’t even really breath
Oh no!
I’ll have to stand in killer heals
Ooh, oww, ooh, oww

I’m going on a job hunt
I might catch a good one
I’m a bit scared
What a beautiful day

Oh look, the interview, a real live interview
I can’t pull funny faces
I can’t give them a tickle
Oh no!
I’m meant to impress them!
Err, umm, err, umm

Oh look, poisson regression, complicated, boring regression!
I can’t remember anything
I can’t calculate anything
Oh no!
I’ll have to blag it
Well, so, well, so

I’m going on a job hunt
I might catch a good one
I’m a bit scared
What a beautiful day

Oh look, examples, please give us examples
I can’t use patching grazed knees
I can’t use changing nappies
Oh no!
I’ll have to think of life pre-kids
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha

I’m going on a job hunt
I might catch a good one
I’m a bit scared
What a beautiful day

Phew – a coffee shop, a nice warm coffee shop
I can have a sit down
I can have a cuppa
I’ll sit and go through it
Slurp, slurp, slurp!
WHAT’S THIS?
Two runny noses
Four seldom-listening ears
Four inquisitive eyes
I MISS THE KIDS

Back out the coffee shop
Slurp, slurp, slurp
Away from examples
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha
Escaping from regression
Well, so, well, so
Away from the interview
Err, umm, err, umm
Back on the train
Ooh, oww, ooh, oww
Back to porridge
Wipe, sponge, wipe, sponge

Run to the front door
Open the front door
Go inside
Oh no, forgot to pick up the shoes strewn on the floor
Tidy up the shoes
Sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh
Back inside
Go up the stairs
Another flight of stairs
Find the kids
Give them a hug
Phew, we made it
I’m not going on a job hunt again!

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